I was getting kind of bummed that I hadn't heard from Obama but all of my friends were getting emails from "him" off the chains because they signed up for his mailing list on his website.  Why didn't good old Rock n' Roll Obama want to spam me up too?  So I went on his website and added myself to his mailing list and also sent a personal message to his camp about how I felt excluded.

What I got in response astounded me.  I felt a direct connection to him when he took time to personally write me an email while on the campaign trail.

Dear *Brown Bear* (real name changed),

Word on the street from my staff is that you iz some kind of bitchass all getting bummed out that I excluded you and shit?  How you gunna play me like that?  Don't you know I'm hustling like a mad man to get my black ass in office?  Whatchoo want from me?  Anyways, I know you a fellow mad daddy and you just wanted to feel included.  Check this, I got the white man fooled that I'm technically one of them but in reality I'm still gangsta.  I know you have your doubts about me and how I supported that busted ass FISA legislation giving telecom companies immunity from their illegal spying and shit but I've got a bigger plan.  I'm gunna sell them rights of yours down the drain while everyone thinks I'm some big ass hip hop star until I  make it legal to put cameras in your house and spy on that ass 24/7.  Then I'm gunna get toilet cams and streaming web cams in your bedroom and wait til you invite over some fresh pie.  I'll get a peek at ALL of that.  What are you gunna do about it? 

Ayt playa, it's been real but I gotta get to a black tie affair and play up the fact that I'm half white and that I'm the future of America all at the same time.  You know how I do!  In the meantime shovel some money my way so I can pass legislation that not only makes me richer but also ensures your rights go right down the toilet!  As long as you rock my tshirt and don't think too much we'll all party!  Oh word, I forgot to tell you.  I'm definitely going to fuck Iran up big time if I get pressured by AIPAC so I can secure my second term in office.  Tell all your cousins that I'm going to liquefy them and their families.  Send them one of my t-shirts so they know who's about to wipe their lives off the face of the Earth.

I'm about to have the world swinging from my nutts, you might want in on this shit.  Keep your mouth shut and put my sticker on your car.  See you in hell mutha fucka!

Love always,

B-Rock

Ask #1 Muchacho is a weekly column which features real questions from real readers, and answers by LGT's own #1 Muchacho. If you would like to submit a question to be featured in this column, Contact Us Here.

Click to read more ...

This week at the RNC Eugene Mirman is fucking with people on video.  You may remember Eugene from Comedy Central, Home Movies, Flight of the Conchords, and other shenanigans. 

This video made me laugh a lot.  Fuck the RNC in it's dirty ass.

Tight Mix Tapes with Evrock is a weekly column which features the sweetest jams highlighted by LGT's own Evrock

Ladies and gentlemen,

We are in the midst of a true change. fall is already fighting to bring us new political hope, let's not fuck this one up. We have a lot to look forward to.

it is time to live and take back our world again. love, fuck, party, and die with a big fat smile on our faces. the sun is always shining somewhere.

Click to read more ...